Wearing Your Weather: When the Negatives Get to be too Much

   Back when I used to work in an elementary school, they had a saying, "don't wear your weather". If you were having a bad day, you were expected to come to work with a smile on your face. You weren't supposed to show the negatives on your face because your weather could be distracting to others. It's a toxic concept if you ask me. How are you supposed to expect kids to learn to handle their own emotions if they don't see those big people also struggling with big emotions? The important thing is not letting your emotions affect your outlook on the littles.

  There were days after a particularly hard class that I would turn to my next class and say, "I'm having a hard day and want to do something fun with you. What would you like to do? Would you like to play Jeopardy, Liar Liar (What we called Balderdash), or read a book together?" 

  When it comes to writing, the same concept needs to apply. We need to wear our weather with grace. We need to be honest about how we are feeling about our journeys while still making an effort to gain a more positive or humble outlook. 

  As you set up your social media and connect with authors you're going to start seeing two types of authors take over your feeds. You'll either see the bestsellers or the sticks in the mud.

  Bestsellers usually come off a little stuck-up. All they talk about are their successes and sometimes they post things about how if you aren't getting reads then you're an awful writer. Many of these authors are toxic. Their main concern is letting the world know that they are the best at what they do.

  Sticks in the mud are the exact opposite. All they post are the negatives. Sticks post nothing but complaints about their journeys. 

  Both Bestsellers and Sticks are toxic. I have a few friends who are borderline on each of those terms, but they aren't bad enough that they make me want to smash my computer. If you find yourself being pulled into the drama of Bestsellers and Sticks (and trust me, drama is what they live for), you need to unfriend them immediately. You will become a target. You will be talked about behind your back. You will find out that your reputation was attacked by them. 

  Without mentioning any names. Let me tell you a story about a Bestseller I almost worked with. This Bestseller was charismatic. They had an idea for an anthology and recruited a bunch of us to help them. The problem was, there was a sketchy contract, a demand for $200 from each author, and if you couldn't pay or backed out for any reason Bestsellers would publicly tear you apart on their profile and in their groups. 

  I left the anthology and got a lot of hate. Eventually, through all the drama, it came out that Bestseller was using a ghostwriter for all of their books. They hadn't written a single one. Ghostwriters aren't illegal. They're an actual job. I ghostwrite for a newspaper sometimes, but ghostwriting for a company is different than ghostwriting for an author. 

  When you ghostwrite for a company, you're writing little things. For example, press releases, almanacs, blurbs, or menus. Nothing that takes a ton of creativity. When you ghostwrite an entire story for an author, you are taking a world you created and giving another person the right to publish it under their name. 

  Ghostwriting for companies is considered needed. Ghostwriting for authors is frowned upon in the writing world. Again, it's not illegal, but it's not exactly right either. Each person has to decide for themselves how they or feel about ghostwriting.

  Bestseller's ghostwriter eventually grew tired. They were writing all of the Bestseller's books and getting no acknowledgment. They left Bestseller and went out on their own. No, they did not immediately become an overnight sensation. Their books no longer had that orange banner we crave on Amazon. However, they didn't care because it was honest work.

  A stick I knew was part of a fantasy group I used to be in. They were kind of a hybrid, to be honest. They'd post about all the glorious things they were doing and would through shade at writers not doing the same thing. Then, when their sales dropped, they'd turn around and use emotional manipulation on their readers by posting things like, "If you're not going to read my books, then get off my page", and "You think my works suck? Well, you won't even spend a dollar to find out." It was extremely toxic. 

  You don't want to be like either of these writers. In reality. there are millions of books and millions of people, and the chances of your books being read by thousands are low. I know that sounds a little harsh, but it's true. Don't worry, though, your readers will find you. They always do. 

  When you are posting on your social media, keep in mind that your readers don't want to see a bestseller or a stick. They want to see you. They want to see your wins and your losses. They want to hear about how you're stuck on a sentence and how a character is driving you nuts. What I've found is readers are more fascinated with the process than the outcome. They don't care if you have an orange banner. As for ratings... 

  Ratings are for readers, not authors. I don't recommend using reviews to determine your career path. There are people out there that are just plain mean and will leave a one-star review on a book because it wasn't the cheeseburger they wanted from Mcdonald's. No joke. Then some readers will leave five-star reviews on books you find torturous to read. 

  Reviews are not concrete. They are opinions. You can't let them control your weather. I know it's hard, but you have to rise above them. You don't want to be seen as a toxic author. Eventually, all the toxic authors get forgotten. They get unfriended, deleted, and their books returned or left to rot unread on a dusty shelf. I know I've said this before, but you have to be real. You have to wear your weather with grace. 

  What I mean by that is that you need to be truthful about your journey while having class. You should post about your wins and your losses. Is a review driving you nuts? They post about it but don't do it in a way that manipulates people. Do it in a way where you and your readers can engage in a constructive conversation.